I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
