either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i out mim tonsoeep
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