Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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