i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Shame - the story of my life.
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