Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
