I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I've blown a few things in my day
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
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