Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
