it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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