I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
