I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
