fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
