I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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