fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
