Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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