This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
