Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
