MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Someone came in the potted fern
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
