I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Damn victory sex feels great
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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