help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize