I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
