Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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