dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
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I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize