Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
