i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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