i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
