I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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