is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
