all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
