I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
