This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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