Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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