Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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