i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
