What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
