I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
