I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
True but thats because hes a fetus.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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