he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm both gender and math confused
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