Your mouth is God's brothel.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
