The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
