so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
