Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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