You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
