i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
