she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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