Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
