I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
