Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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