well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize