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she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
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