Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho

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  (770): she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho http://tfl.nu/uw8w
  Replies (26) Good night (923) Bad night (3282) Order T-Shirt
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does

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  (551): She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does http://tfl.nu/519t
  Replies (26) Good night (10231) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this

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  (513): I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this http://tfl.nu/r3y4
  Replies (13) Good night (4190) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.

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  (306): I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters. http://tfl.nu/tngh
  Replies (16) Good night (886) Bad night (7897) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"

  (905): View more from Ontario

  And sadly I did.

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  (905): They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?" (905): And sadly I did. http://tfl.nu/9e0f
  Replies (25) Good night (1977) Bad night (3961)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?

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  (913): high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life? http://tfl.nu/lv3r
  Replies (10) Good night (3590) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.

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  (405): I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday. http://tfl.nu/si72
  Replies (6) Good night (1816) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.

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  (814): Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark. http://tfl.nu/ixe0
  Replies (2) Good night (1406) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.

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  (847): This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird. http://tfl.nu/h1he
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.

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  (815): It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/yfvq
  Replies (13) Good night (249) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...

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  (641): As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long... http://tfl.nu/8iqc
  Replies (4) Good night (284) Bad night (1184) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.

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  (859): I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK. http://tfl.nu/lcdi
  Replies (26) Good night (363) Bad night (1158) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.

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  (530): When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck. http://tfl.nu/3nwx
  Replies (11) Good night (1602) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.

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  (970): Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon. http://tfl.nu/bx6h
  Replies (5) Good night (1635) Bad night (449)
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  (415): View more from California

  Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.

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  (415): Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week. http://tfl.nu/dhvq
  Replies (1) Good night (440) Bad night (75) Order T-Shirt

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