just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
