the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
