he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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