she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
