can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
