well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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