great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
