I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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