thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
