The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
