I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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