Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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