In the future we'll all be gay
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
