called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
